That’s something I never thought I’d ever have to say . . . “I’m having brain surgery . . and . . I’m having brain surgery this Saturday.” Wow, it still hasn’t sunk in, and at times I just can’t believe it.

BrainAs of last week the doctors thought that putting a stent in my brain and doing a more non-invasive surgery was going to be a good option to treat my aneurysm. After further review it looks like if the stent works I will be on blood thinners and will be at a high risk of stroke because of how small the vessel is. The reason treatment options have not been so clear for me is because my aneurysm is unusual – unusual – a word you don’t want to hear when talking about the medical condition of your brain! Anyways, after reviewing with some of the best neurologists in Paris, my doctors came to the conclusion that brain surgery really is my best – if not only – option. . . I tried to be strong, but the doctors saw some tears.

DSCN9913 editedRecovery will take initially 6 weeks. From there I can hopefully go back to work. After 3 months people say their cognitive stamina is better. By six months most people are almost normal; they just tire really easily. And then in a year my skull will be fully healed. I want so badly to wake up from the surgery and know it worked and know I’m ok and just need to recover.

DSCN9894Things have been super stressful lately and the to do list is piling up. Really, how can you prepare for brain surgery? Unfortunately our job has no personal days so I can’t take off work without getting my pay docked. I was also told that my final marks for my students need to be done before I leave (basically sum up a whole trimester in a week) and that it is my responsibility to prepare my students now for their final exam in June. Not to mention all the cleaning around the house and shopping for post surgery things: like linens, pajamas, button down shirts, shower stool, etc. I need a day to myself to relax, decompress, and be with my husband. I have moments where I am overwhelmed and stressed, but then I get an email, or a card and I’m reminded to be strong, to be positive, and that I will make it through . . .

DSCN9899Those of you who have contacted me recently have totally helped me in ways you probably don’t realize. Each time someone says they believe I’ll make it through this, or they know I’m in good hands, that I’m in the right place, or that God is looking out for me, I feel such reassurance. My continual prayer is that I get through this surgery safely, I recover safely, and I am able to get back to normal over the course of this year.

Mom and DadThe number one thing that I am most thankful, grateful and blessed about is the fact that my parents will be here on Friday. They will be able to give Scott so much support – taking care of me, cooking, laundry etc. I will not be able to do much and knowing that I have them to help me shower, clean, and get through each day makes me feel so blessed. My husband has been nothing short of miraculous for me. He has tried to maintain a sense of normalcy in this chaos, he has held me when I cried, reassured me when I’m scared, and has never been doubtful. I could not have made it this far without him.

VeniceSo, what does this mean? Well I might not be blogging for a while! I have no idea how I’m going to feel or cognitively how much I will be able to put up with. I will have Scott get on the blog and update all of you when he can. Of course prayers for a safe, clean surgery and a good, healthy recovery are much appreciated. I know I certainly have a long journey of recovery ahead of me . . .